A HANDFUL WITH QUIETNESS

Sometimes major events happen in our lives and everything gets redirected. My husband lost his job, but is starting up his own welding company. I'm now his partner - in life, in crime, in business. We are extremely busy trying to start up the new company to generate income, while juggling personal finances around trying to avoid bankruptcy, while keeping our children and household running.

All this means that my dream of adopting a daughter has been shelved, maybe never to be realized. An adopted child requires much time and energy to lovingly incorporate into an existing family. Our new business is taking up all my extra time and energy. I could be selfish and insist we go forward, but that would be a detriment to all. God gave me the scripture, "Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit." (Ecclesiastes 4:6) I'm choosing to be content with my current handful.

My heart's sad, but it's okay. Life happened and we go on. I'm confident this is where God wants us and He'll take care of us. Being in His will means everything to me.

THE COMFORT OF KNOWING

One son has problem A. The other son has problem B. A & B have been around for a while and they have not gone away. We've tried praying, talking, disciplining, teaching, and loving, but nothing seems to have worked. In reality, all our efforts are working. When situations don't seem to be changing, or they change for the worse, we need to have faith in God. He wants us to continue to love and raise our children while He handles the things we can't.

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance (firm trust) of things hoped for, the evidence (conviction) of things not seen." It's knowing the sun is shining just behind the clouds. One benefit of having committed our family to God is that we KNOW God is helping us. We KNOW God sees our children's thoughts and actions. We KNOW God is in control of situations that affect us. We KNOW God loves our children more than we ever could. We KNOW God also wants them to grow up to be good men and firm Christians. We KNOW God never sleeps and that nothing is too hard for Him.

How can we have this kind of faith? God has made many promises to us in the Bible and many have come to pass. Some are still outstanding, but not one promise has failed. So while we don't see any progress yet with A & B, we can know God's got everything under control.

ADOLESCENT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

My sons and I read in Proverbs 1: 1,4, "The proverbs of Solomon... (to give) to the young man knowledge and discretion." I asked my sons why they thought God wanted young men to learn God's wisdom - why not older men who would be better able to understand? I believe part of the reason has to do with human brain development. This is just my opinion - I am not an expert.

One study states, "the greatest changes to the parts of the brain that are responsible for functions such as self-control, judgment, emotions, and organization occur between puberty and adulthood... Kids who 'exercise' their brains by learning to order their thoughts, understand abstract concepts, and control their impulses are laying the neural foundations that will serve them for the rest of their lives." (Adolescent Brain Development, ACT for Youth, Upstate Center for Excellence, Cornell University, May 2002)

As our children enter adolescence, we need to encourage and guide them as they exercise their independent thinking. They are learning to order their own thoughts and control their impulses. They are forming neural connections that will become their habits.  My oldest child is 11 and just entering this stage. I have started talking with my sons about how God and the bible relate to their own thoughts and feelings. I am asking them to go beyond just being obedient - I am asking them to make their own decisions about serving God. With the Lord's help, I am doing my best to instruct my sons in the way they should go.

GOING WITH THE FLOW

We bought our home last year. It was the first time this city girl was going to live in a more rural area. The night we moved in reality hit when we discovered lots of ants in our home! I fought with this problem until I finally accepted the fact that living in a rural area meant more bugs. I still go on ant eradication missions daily, but it's easier to live with now that I'm going with the flow.

A while ago my son was struggling in school. We discovered he has Attention Deficit Disorder which means he processes information differently than others. A friend who has children with ADD gave us good advice to the effect of just going with the flow. We made adjustments to work with it, and now he is thriving in school and life.

In my early twenties I began reading the bible in a searching way. I discovered that I was doing a lot of things contrary to the bible, and these bad choices were causing a lot of heartache in my life. Acts 9:5 says, "It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks." When I finally chose to go the bible way God changed my life 100% for the better. When we go with God's flow, our lives will flow in the right way.

TRUSTING THE ALMIGHTY

My littlest has been complaining of an earache. He came up to me, looking very pitiful and yucky feeling, and wanted me to pick him up. When I held him he let out a big sigh then cuddled into my hug, surrendering to my security. He trusted me fully, knowing I would take care of him and love him. I told my son that we were going to ask Jesus to help him feel better, because I want him to learn that Jesus will take care of him.

I am training my children to go to God on their own. He's the almighty, the one who can. I'm a mom, and moms love and care for their children mightily. But I'm only human and have limitations as to what I can do for them. So while I can give medicine and love and hope an earache goes away, God can heal (and he has, many times). When I can't help them on a test at school, God can. When I can't protect them from accidents, God can. He can watch over my children in all situations, and He does. He loves them more than I ever could.

LIVING EXAMPLES OF THE WORD OF GOD

Today my son wanted to do his homework in the car so he could play games when we got home. I was driving and only somewhat tuned in to him. Our conversation went something like this...
"Mom, what is 500 divided by 6?"
"83 remainder 2."
"56?"
"No, 23... Um, no.. 83 remainder 2."
"What?"

After a few more minutes of not getting the right answer, in rush hour traffic, I realized that math homework had to wait until we got home and I could show him on paper.

So many people today are bible scholars, but they miss the whole purpose of the word of God because they fail to LIVE what they know. James 1:22 says, "Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only." God wants us to be LIVING EXAMPLES of the word of God, and to teach our children how to apply the word of God in their lives. My son can hear the concept of division in the classroom, but he won't actually learn (internalize) it until he sits down and practices the operation on paper. Likewise, my son can hear bible concepts about letting brotherly love continue, but he only internalizes God's instruction when we repeatedly make him share with and respect his siblings. Let us be doers of the word!

GOD'S GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL

Today was one of those whirlwind days. I hit the ground running getting the kids going. When I finally had a break for devotions, my head was buzzing with a myriad of thoughts and concerns and deadlines and tasks and songs and whatnot. When I was able to quiet my mind enough to pray, my thoughts shot off in different directions again. At that point God was kind enough to remind me of this poem:

"Good morning, this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help - so have a good day. I love you!"

One moment I felt almost helpless, burdened by a million different things. The next moment I was able to just let them all go, knowing God had everything under control. From kids to husband to finances to work, whether tasks at hand or worries for loved ones far away, God would take care of everything in His perfect will and way. MAN, I LOVE SERVING GOD!

THANKFUL FOR SIMPLE BLESSINGS

Today we had a birthday party for my 10 year old. It was a boy's party - video games, whip cream challenge, drawing on each other's shirts (don't worry moms, I provided the shirts), pizza, cake (which the boys decorated), ice cream, presents, and lots of running around outside. A very simple party, but the boys had a blast!

In my life I experienced only 1 huge miracle - when I got saved. Yet I can't count on my fingers, let alone even remember, all the small, simple miracles God has done for me and my family. Just waking up with health and a sound mind is such a miracle. We have a roof over our heads, food on our table, comfortable clothing, transportation, lotsa love and laughter, hope, peace... the list just goes on and on and on. One song says, "Just from Jesus simply taking life and breath and joy and peace." Every day God heaps oodles of simple blessings on our heads. I am so thankful.

WARNING --- ANTS!

Living in a rural area, we have a LOT of ants around. They're always trying to make inroads into our house. I've told my children many times, "Don't take food into your bedrooms or you might wake up with ants all over you." Did they take heed to my warning? It wasn't long before my son came running to me saying ants were all over his bed. I got the bug spray and went in and his bed and walls were just swarming with ants. GROSS! I pulled back his bed from the wall and found fruit snack and candy wrappers. Unfortunately, the ants had found it first. It took me a while to get the ants under control. Then he had to help me clean up the carcasses and the food wrappers. I'm hoping my son had a big enough taste of the mess so that he will listen to me next time.

Ezekiel 3:21 says, "If thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned: also thou shalt deliver thy soul." One of the main things we regularly talk about is the necessity to serve God and not sin. If their soul is sin-free, then they are able to have a personal relationship with God and live their lives the right way. The devil has deceived so many into thinking they can have sin in their life and still please God. As parents, let us make sure our children know the truth about sin. There's no guarantee they'll choose to serve God, but we can make sure our job is done by warning them.

THE SPIRITUAL NEST

One morning my son told me, "Mom, I feel like saying 'YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'." I asked him why and he said it was because he's glad he's serving God. Wow! An unexpected shot of joy and encouragement through this mom's heart. Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not." How beautiful to see some of the fruits of our labor - to know your child is forming their own personal experience with God. To know God is talking to their hearts and blessing them.

We strive to love and train our children to the point where they can leave the nest and fly on their own. I'm not just referring to when they graduate from school and you encourage them to get a job and their own place. I'm talking about leaving the spiritual nest by having their own personal experience with God. One of my goals is to make sure my children don't end up with "mom and pop religion" where they just go through the motions of serving God but don't have an actual experience of salvation. In my 20 years of serving God I've seen too many young people try to serve God while they are at home, then once they move out they stop coming to church. I want my children to have their own foundation on God, so when they face the world full-on as young adults they'll be able to stand firmly on their own two feet. So I echo my son in saying YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE, my children are on their way!

PROVOKING CHILDREN TO LOVE GOD

So many times I have heard two of my children fighting, then wrongfully scolded one child when it was the other who was at fault. So many times have I had to apologize to my children for being wrong, for having jumped the gun and made a wrong decision because I didn't take the time to analyze the situation.

Ephesians 6:4 says "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Our job as parents is to love and discipline our children the way God loves and disciplines us. We need to make sure we judge them rightly, as much as humanly possible. We need to apologize to them when we are wrong. Our children will form opinions about God through our behavior. When we discipline them, are they seeing how God would discipline them? We want them to see God through us. We want them to grow up loving the God we love.

PERMIT CHILDREN TO GO TO CHRIST

Matthew 19:14 says, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me..." Jesus was telling his disciples to stop shooing the children away. Sure he was busy dealing with religious leaders, but Jesus counted children's souls just as important. Their moms just wanted Jesus to bless them. Maybe a little girl showed him an owie for him to heal. Maybe a boy wanted Jesus to help him be brave because he was afraid of the dark.

My son has bordered on "distraught" because a video game system has not been shipped to the stores yet. He's been waiting for eons (more like three weeks) and has been asking Jesus to help the store get the game. And just like those children all those years ago, Jesus blessed my son. No, the game still hasn't arrived in the stores yet, but my son told me his obsessive desire for the game was gone. Yes, he still wants the game, but with Jesus' help he's waiting more patiently. I had thought of telling my son not to pray what I thought was a selfish prayer, but I'm glad I didn't. God has proven to my son that He's a real help.

YOUR CHILD'S PERSONAL TRUST IN GOD

God wants us to teach our children how to be able to go to God for help on their own. Judges 3:1-2 says, "These are the nations that the Lord left, to prove Israel by them... that the generations of the children of Israel might know, to teach them war."

One night my son was angry over a perceived injustice. His negative attitude and thoughts just kept worsening. I tried different positive thinking exercises with him, but nothing stopped the negativity. I finally fell on my knees and asked God for help. I did not know what else to try. God told me to teach my son to go to God himself. I knew to go to God when I didn't know what to do, but I needed to help my son know how to go to God.

I told my son he could pray and ask God to help him know what to do in his trial. The next day he told me that he did pray and that afterwards, no matter how hard he tried to think of the negative thoughts, he couldn't. I don't know what God did, but I'm thankful God met his need in a private, personal way he will always remember.

TOOTING GOD'S HORN

My heart's desire is to become the best mom I can be. I've got 43 years of life experiences to apply in raising my children. I don't know a lot, but out of all the advice and information I've received, only the Bible's direction has proven 100% successful in childrearing. Why? Because God created us and set the rules how we function. Every mom is different, every child is different, but God's rules apply to ALL. God helps me immensely - I'm going to TOOT GOD'S HORN!

I've been a mom for 11 years now. I don't have all the answers. I still make mistakes. But I'm trying to be the best mom I can be, at this given moment, with the skills and tools I've been given. By reading how I muddle through motherhood maybe you'll look at yourself and think, "Compared to her, I'm not all that bad." By sharing the hope, wisdom, love and encouragement I receive from God, I hope to encourage you to turn to Him.