A HANDFUL WITH QUIETNESS

Sometimes major events happen in our lives and everything gets redirected. My husband lost his job, but is starting up his own welding company. I'm now his partner - in life, in crime, in business. We are extremely busy trying to start up the new company to generate income, while juggling personal finances around trying to avoid bankruptcy, while keeping our children and household running.

All this means that my dream of adopting a daughter has been shelved, maybe never to be realized. An adopted child requires much time and energy to lovingly incorporate into an existing family. Our new business is taking up all my extra time and energy. I could be selfish and insist we go forward, but that would be a detriment to all. God gave me the scripture, "Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit." (Ecclesiastes 4:6) I'm choosing to be content with my current handful.

My heart's sad, but it's okay. Life happened and we go on. I'm confident this is where God wants us and He'll take care of us. Being in His will means everything to me.

THE COMFORT OF KNOWING

One son has problem A. The other son has problem B. A & B have been around for a while and they have not gone away. We've tried praying, talking, disciplining, teaching, and loving, but nothing seems to have worked. In reality, all our efforts are working. When situations don't seem to be changing, or they change for the worse, we need to have faith in God. He wants us to continue to love and raise our children while He handles the things we can't.

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance (firm trust) of things hoped for, the evidence (conviction) of things not seen." It's knowing the sun is shining just behind the clouds. One benefit of having committed our family to God is that we KNOW God is helping us. We KNOW God sees our children's thoughts and actions. We KNOW God is in control of situations that affect us. We KNOW God loves our children more than we ever could. We KNOW God also wants them to grow up to be good men and firm Christians. We KNOW God never sleeps and that nothing is too hard for Him.

How can we have this kind of faith? God has made many promises to us in the Bible and many have come to pass. Some are still outstanding, but not one promise has failed. So while we don't see any progress yet with A & B, we can know God's got everything under control.

ADOLESCENT BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

My sons and I read in Proverbs 1: 1,4, "The proverbs of Solomon... (to give) to the young man knowledge and discretion." I asked my sons why they thought God wanted young men to learn God's wisdom - why not older men who would be better able to understand? I believe part of the reason has to do with human brain development. This is just my opinion - I am not an expert.

One study states, "the greatest changes to the parts of the brain that are responsible for functions such as self-control, judgment, emotions, and organization occur between puberty and adulthood... Kids who 'exercise' their brains by learning to order their thoughts, understand abstract concepts, and control their impulses are laying the neural foundations that will serve them for the rest of their lives." (Adolescent Brain Development, ACT for Youth, Upstate Center for Excellence, Cornell University, May 2002)

As our children enter adolescence, we need to encourage and guide them as they exercise their independent thinking. They are learning to order their own thoughts and control their impulses. They are forming neural connections that will become their habits.  My oldest child is 11 and just entering this stage. I have started talking with my sons about how God and the bible relate to their own thoughts and feelings. I am asking them to go beyond just being obedient - I am asking them to make their own decisions about serving God. With the Lord's help, I am doing my best to instruct my sons in the way they should go.

GOING WITH THE FLOW

We bought our home last year. It was the first time this city girl was going to live in a more rural area. The night we moved in reality hit when we discovered lots of ants in our home! I fought with this problem until I finally accepted the fact that living in a rural area meant more bugs. I still go on ant eradication missions daily, but it's easier to live with now that I'm going with the flow.

A while ago my son was struggling in school. We discovered he has Attention Deficit Disorder which means he processes information differently than others. A friend who has children with ADD gave us good advice to the effect of just going with the flow. We made adjustments to work with it, and now he is thriving in school and life.

In my early twenties I began reading the bible in a searching way. I discovered that I was doing a lot of things contrary to the bible, and these bad choices were causing a lot of heartache in my life. Acts 9:5 says, "It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks." When I finally chose to go the bible way God changed my life 100% for the better. When we go with God's flow, our lives will flow in the right way.

TRUSTING THE ALMIGHTY

My littlest has been complaining of an earache. He came up to me, looking very pitiful and yucky feeling, and wanted me to pick him up. When I held him he let out a big sigh then cuddled into my hug, surrendering to my security. He trusted me fully, knowing I would take care of him and love him. I told my son that we were going to ask Jesus to help him feel better, because I want him to learn that Jesus will take care of him.

I am training my children to go to God on their own. He's the almighty, the one who can. I'm a mom, and moms love and care for their children mightily. But I'm only human and have limitations as to what I can do for them. So while I can give medicine and love and hope an earache goes away, God can heal (and he has, many times). When I can't help them on a test at school, God can. When I can't protect them from accidents, God can. He can watch over my children in all situations, and He does. He loves them more than I ever could.